shells... not the kind you get from the beach...
so... this entry may turn into a discussion... at any rate i'd like feedback from everyone i guess... so the other day i was arguing with someone over whether "shells" were good or not... now obviously the kind that you pick up off those beautiful beaches on the coast while you watch the sunset- sorry... those are good...
but i'm talking about the "shells" that people create for themselves... those images that we all project for everyone but our very close friends... and sometimes even for them... the you that everyone sees is so often different from the real you...
now some people would argue that it's good a lot... because you project an image that everyone else sees in a way that will eventually bring you greater self-confidence (if that makes sense) and because it gives you "strength"...
i guess i'd argue that it really doesn't... i think shells can make you forget who you really are... when you strip away everything people expect of you (or even what you've come to expect of you) and really get down to your core self... i think it can make you really forget the true you by convincing yourself that you really are the way everyone expects you to be... anyways... i'm not done but i've gotta go make dinner for company tonight...
but i'm talking about the "shells" that people create for themselves... those images that we all project for everyone but our very close friends... and sometimes even for them... the you that everyone sees is so often different from the real you...
now some people would argue that it's good a lot... because you project an image that everyone else sees in a way that will eventually bring you greater self-confidence (if that makes sense) and because it gives you "strength"...
i guess i'd argue that it really doesn't... i think shells can make you forget who you really are... when you strip away everything people expect of you (or even what you've come to expect of you) and really get down to your core self... i think it can make you really forget the true you by convincing yourself that you really are the way everyone expects you to be... anyways... i'm not done but i've gotta go make dinner for company tonight...
posted by eyes.like.sapphires @ 3:00 PM
16 Comments:
At 10:29 PM,
Foolish Thing Nine said…
I have been told that the craziness and the pink that I exude most of the time is nothing more than an affected shell that I fit into because that's what everyone expected of me and so now I just do it because that's the only way I know to respond to it.
I don't know that I agree with that, but it's an interesting idea... That after a time fulfilling other people's expectations just to meet them you begin to do it for no other reason than it's what you did before...
At 10:44 PM,
Ansen Bayer said…
I don't think shells are a good thing, but at the same time I think there's more to it than that.
I think being yourself is very important. God made you to be who you are and he doesn't mess up, so why try to be different? But at the same time, I don't think that means that we should interact with everyone the same way.
I always try to be myself, but that doesn't mean I act the same around my best friend and around people at school. I was a lot more quiet and subdued around school, and I'm a lot more loud and crazy around my best friend.
Why? I'm not sure. But I don't think I was putting on a shell. Both of those sides are still me. I just respond differently to some people. It's important to recognize the distinction between interacting differently with certain people and trying to act different than yourself around certain people.
At 9:54 AM,
Emily! said…
I think shells are good and bad at the same time. I mean, I'm pretty sure I have one... not around everyone, just most people. And it's not like all of me is a shell. There are just certain things that I don't want to show to people.
Shells for animals or bugs or whatever are like a defense mechanism (ooh, big words, go me). I think that's almost the way it is for me, too. It's a way to keep myself from getting hurt. Not that it's necessarily the best way for me to defend myself... but hey, it works. Most of the time.
(I hope people don't think I'm really fake after reading that... I don't think I'm all that fake, but there are just certain things, ya know?)
At 10:09 AM,
incurable optimist said…
I think I have a shell that is sorta like what Emily was talking about: a defense mechanism. Sometimes you need it to protect yourself, other times it needs to be let down so you can be true.
Keep the conversation going, this is interesting.
At 10:14 PM,
Foolish Thing Nine said…
Shells as a defense mechanism is an interesting picture, although it really is true. It just becomes interesting when you use it to fight people off and keep them out for everything you are worth, but then invariably someone sneaks in. It doesn't always happen this way, but sometimes that one person who is inside your shell will turn and hurt you deeply, and so you redouble your efforts to hold that shell.
Now, what would have happened if you had never had the shell in the first place? Sure, it's very likely that you would have been hurt. But isn't it also as likely that you would have found people who would have loved the person under the shell so fiercely that in your pain they would have been there for you to not only catch you at the end of the fall but put you back on your feet again and walk with you?
At 6:34 PM,
Foolish Thing Nine said…
Ah, mistrust reason of human nature... Why would you want to indulge in a silly thing like that?
At 8:25 PM,
eyes.like.sapphires said…
haha! i think i hear you loud and clear christa...
At 11:30 AM,
Staci said…
hey sarah! well on this topic...i think everyone has their own circumstances. i refer to these 'shells' as 'the guard.' well i was listening to this song the other day and i was like woah, did they just say what i think they said...nice! the 2nd part applies to me, but i have a feeling you'll relate to part #1. it went like this, "do you listen to yourself? never live for someone else. do you like the way you feel? nothing hurts but no one's real."
At 2:13 PM,
incurable optimist said…
In response to what Shane and Christa have been talking about, I must interject this quote from the 10th Kingdom:
Virginia: I have a hard time trusting people.
Wolf: Well, you may not get hurt, but you won't get loved, either.
At 7:28 PM,
eyes.like.sapphires said…
very good point bets... good song stace!
At 1:21 PM,
incurable optimist said…
Christa, after our phone conversation, I must interject that your situation is different from most, and you might have a right to be untrusting of "certain" people.
At 8:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
Interesting discussion. I agree with Christa. And way to quote Phantom! That is perfect.
At 8:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sorry, that last anonymous was from me. ~Amanda
At 8:57 AM,
BekahLynn said…
Hi Sarah! I finally got your blog name thanks to a link from Elena, so hi! I think the shell thing is quite deep, and wow, 17 (now 18) posts, apparently others felt compelled to comment on it also. I've thought about this stuff so much b/c when I was in about third grade I read this book about how this little girl is so nice at school, but she is a monster at home. Then her teacher comes home to eat dinner with her family and sees how the litte girl really acts and is shocked to say the least. Well, that really doesn't apply all that well, and isn't really all that relevant, but it makes sense to me... anyway, some greats points you make.
At 8:49 AM,
BekahLynn said…
You know what Sarah? Have you ever noticed that dot dot dot's get used alot? I know in my own blog I ellipse alot...haha! I just noticed most of your titles have that whole dot thing going on. Well, anyway just thought that was interesting....
At 6:55 AM,
BekahLynn said…
You know what Sarah? After talking to you last night, I discovered that I have a shell. I never realized this before and It's kinda crazy.... Okay, so going off of the first post from foolish thing nine-In sixth grade, all the girls flirted with guys. You weren't cool if you were just friends with them however. No, you had to flirt to be cool. So, I flirted, because, "people expected me to" that sounds so crazy, buy anyway.... So, when I hit the age where it's okay to be friends with guys, I just kept right on flirting, even though I wanted to be friends with some of these guys, I kept flirting and sent mixed messages. Flirting becomes a shell because it prevents guys from seeing the real me because it doesn't demonstrate my true nature. Like being stupid on purpose and slighting my memory, when in acutality, my memory works just fine and my brain is fully functional. I come across as shallow so guys won't be able to get close to the real me and then I don't have to risk being hurt. Whew. That was a rampage. Does it make sense? I dunno. Thanks for letting me vent on your blog. luv ya!
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