and so it's time...
i have three weekends left at home (sorry jade, talking about leaving's becoming inevitable)... and it seems so short. i always thought i'd be so glad when this time came. and in many ways i am. no more 4:30 a.m. papers... no more demerits... no more mondays... no more high school drama... no more long 3rd quarters... no more little breakdowns over ridiculous work and stress loads, but with each of those comes something that i'll miss: no more 4:30 a.m. summer sizzle tp raids... no more class parties in revolt of anything and everything to do with authority (thanks, bernards!)... no more week long school trips... no more moments with my 17 brothers and sisters i've come to feel so incredibly comfortable and loved around... no more basketball and football games where everyone simply goes to socialize (and no more wonderful volleyball games... i love you, coach!)... and no more hours with mrs. congdon crying and talking and laughing and doing singing valentines.
i guess i'm ready... i told mrs. congdon i feel like i'm the end of an era, stuck in between two different generations. britt said it's good that God let me know it's time to leave. i mean, when people no longer want in n' out burger shirts, no longer go to cornerstone games, no longer remember when the madrigals were something to take pride in (many years ago), no longer remember the "legendary families" (that was a rude awakening for me... it was so... obvious when i was young), no longer care what our fine arts are like, and are starting to wonder what the big deal about mr. schneider is... yes... it's high time that i leave... these apparently small differences really have shaped my crowd for a long time. lol. that probably made no sense. if you've no idea what i'm talking about, then i suppose i've proved my point. haha! if you do know, then i suppose you're either in college or out of it already, or you're one of the ones that still manages to make me feel like i'm not quite as old as the rest of the school implies.
anyways, i love my new roommate from iowa! i'm so excited. she's wonderful and the three of us are going to get along absolutely wonderfully! i'm sorry the rest of this entry has been so... sullen. it's just, well, you know, things just hit you sometimes. oh yeah... i have strep again, but at least i caught it a little earlier this time... when i couldn't swallow i thought i'd better go to the doctor. lol. our exchange student named Joelle is absolutely wonderful, speaks english wonderfully, and is the sweetest and cutest girl ever!
last sad note of the night... i'm afraid my dictator and i have slowly drifted apart. and his girl... she i have not talked to in, oh, over a month. how easily the strong ties of friendship come undone when you forget to double-knot them. haha! it really does make me sad though. i knew it would come, so it's not so bad. i just wish it didn't have to is all. but wishes are only dreams that rest on nothing but a prayer...
i guess i'm ready... i told mrs. congdon i feel like i'm the end of an era, stuck in between two different generations. britt said it's good that God let me know it's time to leave. i mean, when people no longer want in n' out burger shirts, no longer go to cornerstone games, no longer remember when the madrigals were something to take pride in (many years ago), no longer remember the "legendary families" (that was a rude awakening for me... it was so... obvious when i was young), no longer care what our fine arts are like, and are starting to wonder what the big deal about mr. schneider is... yes... it's high time that i leave... these apparently small differences really have shaped my crowd for a long time. lol. that probably made no sense. if you've no idea what i'm talking about, then i suppose i've proved my point. haha! if you do know, then i suppose you're either in college or out of it already, or you're one of the ones that still manages to make me feel like i'm not quite as old as the rest of the school implies.
anyways, i love my new roommate from iowa! i'm so excited. she's wonderful and the three of us are going to get along absolutely wonderfully! i'm sorry the rest of this entry has been so... sullen. it's just, well, you know, things just hit you sometimes. oh yeah... i have strep again, but at least i caught it a little earlier this time... when i couldn't swallow i thought i'd better go to the doctor. lol. our exchange student named Joelle is absolutely wonderful, speaks english wonderfully, and is the sweetest and cutest girl ever!
last sad note of the night... i'm afraid my dictator and i have slowly drifted apart. and his girl... she i have not talked to in, oh, over a month. how easily the strong ties of friendship come undone when you forget to double-knot them. haha! it really does make me sad though. i knew it would come, so it's not so bad. i just wish it didn't have to is all. but wishes are only dreams that rest on nothing but a prayer...
posted by eyes.like.sapphires @ 12:22 AM
4 Comments:
At 3:07 PM,
Foolish Thing Nine said…
Just to make you feel justified in your feelings, I can't imagine CP having changed from all of those things that you mentioned...
It's good that you are ready to leave though. I remember being scared to death of leaving and not wanting to do it because I didn't want to leave all that familiarity and comfort that I had at CP.
As for the dictator... At least you saw it coming, however much it sucks. I miss the kid too - and I was never as close to him as you were. I miss his piano playing - I really wish that he was around so I could tell him that I got my hands on a Ben Folds book and I could actually play things out of it and it made my day - and made me miss the both of you.
As I'm sitting here typing, I really miss you and me and him being in his house singing and playing piano...
I spent the weekend at Heather's house (she is one of the girls on my team for the summer) because we went to see her brother in 42nd Street (great show). As I watched her walk around and see people, hug them, talk with them, I saw a lot of what I want my friendships to be like when I get home: the time spent away didn't matter, there was still enough of a connection between spirits that there is a deep level of caring between people. I don't know the reasons for why you and he have drifted, but I hope that after whatever separation you have going to different schools, you will still be able to come back to good old T-town and have that connection with each other that will last for many years to come even as we all grow into new and different people.
Yeah... I'm scared.
At 10:46 PM,
Miss*Melody said…
I know how you feel. You may not think so, but I do. I think we all are feeling it as we're getting ready to leave. Know that you will always have a connection wtih me, old friend! (even if I am not one of your wonderful CP buddies). But you have always accepted me anyway.
I really feel you on the "legends" topic- the old era has really faded. Maybe, there will be new legendary families, but you and I both know that it'll never be the same. I know it hurts to see relationships with your best friends deteriorate. I have been experiencing the same things with friends I've had for many years. I have no advice (you're better at that anyway) or wisdom, but I can effectively comiserate with you.
You are always in my prayers.
At 11:42 AM,
Ansen Bayer said…
Thanks!! And...about college and moving away...it is a new era. But it can be an amazing one - even more amazing than what you've experienced so far, as long as you give it the chance to be that way.
At 9:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
Thanks for the comment(s), Sarah. :)
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