connections...

isn't it funny how life connects? i've completely reread my entire blog tonight (or this morning)... which sadly is rather easy to do. i've still in the graveyard list... this, i contend, is completely unfair. however, due to recent events, i'm willing to forget it for a while. but everything i've ever wrote still applies... isn't that weird? it's like i haven't changed in over a year. which isn't true, but still.
i hung out with Brittany tonight! it was so much fun. i haven't hung out with her in forever and i missed her a lot. i miss ashley too... and craig... and ruth, shane, thomas... enough i suppose; i'll stop. but it was fun. i already miss my class so much... it hasn't hit me yet. it'll hit me when i'm two weeks through school and am frantically searching for clint and halston just around the corner thinking up some stupid prank while kyle eggs them on. lol. nevermore... (good poem, in a way... relevant word) anyways, i guess i'll go for now.

hugs

when i really think about it, i suppose sometimes people live simply off of hugs. i know there are some people that give great hugs... there are some people that love my hugs... and there's one person (prolly not who you're thinking) that i always wait for long periods of time to finally fall into the arms of true acceptance and not have to worry about anything at all... even after 3 years... i still have not found one to match it...
those side-hugs are sometimes annoying though huh? i dunno... this is just a completely random topic, but oh well, i like it at the moment (which happens to be 3:08 on a Saturday morning. lol) so i'll just talk about it anyway.
find your comfort... find the place you can fall into and not have to worry about anything for a few moments... not worry about best friends with cancer, leaving best friends for a new life and a new world, not being able to balance your life, not wanting to stop yourself from crying anymore. everyone needs a "happy place" (a great life lesson from the adam sandler collection) where they feel truly safe. where's yours?...

blind love

well i know what you're thinking
i know how you talk
and i've seen the way you glare
i try to impress you
do my best to please you
but i know that you rarely care

but if love is blind
then why can they see all my faults
and throw them right back in my face?
and i won't deny
but i wish they'd learn to forgive
and see past my fatal mistakes
and i hate to believe it
but i guess i'd be freely replaced

well i've heard all your lectures
endured all your sermons
but still they just keep coming back
and i'll have to accept this
you've just given up
and you'll never cut me any slack

but if love is blind
then why can they see all my faults
and throw them right back in my face?
and i won't deny
but i wish they'd learn to forgive
and see past my fatal mistakes
and i hate to believe it
but i guess i'd be freely replaced

and i'd love to be loved by you
why can't i be loved by you
yeah i'd love to be loved by you
i just wish that you wanted it too

well if love is blind
then why won't you see past my faults
and forgive me my fatal mistakes
why would i be so freely replaced?
why can't you allow me some grace?

i just wish that you wanted me too

anymore

can't anybody hear her?
she sure listens to you
and you think that no one knows you're crying
but i know she's crying too
if you only knew
the things she does for you

well she sits and stares in the mirror
and she wonders why can't anyone hear her
cause inside she is screaming from the pain and the fear
and the only comfort she can find anywhere near
is the thought that soon she won't even be here
anymore

how long before it's over?
before she's done with all the pain
how long before there's no joy left in the sunshine
and no release comes with the pouring rain?
if you only knew
the things she's going through

well she sits and she stares in the mirror
and she wonders why can't anyone hear her
cause inside she is screaming from the pain and the fear
and the only comfort she can find anywhere near
is the thought that soon she won't even be here
anymore

if you only knew
the things she does for you
if you only knew
the things she's going through

well she sits and she stares in the mirror
and she wonders why can't anyone hear her
cause inside she is screaming from the pain and the fear
and the only comforst she can find anywhere near
is the thought that soon she won't even be here
anymore

what if she wasn't even here
anymore?

summer's a great time to try and get off of the graveyard list that i've worked myself into lol. i dunno... i just got so busy... but if you know me much at all, you really need not much explanation for my lack of time to do things like blog and hang out and lay around and do nothing lol.
summer's also a time to reflect on what happened the last school year, and uh... look foward to the next year i suppose. i'm excited... sad and scared to leave my huge family here in Topeka, but at the same time happy to have a new one in college. this will always have been my first real big family... so unforgettable in many ways. funny how you wait till one part of your life is over to realize you loved it so much. oh well... life goes on... and i've got a whole summer here still before i evven start my college stuff.
summer... good or bad? i've really no idea. i'll be surprised if anyone reads this frankly... i've been so long gone. maybe someone will find it and say "wow... look everyone, sarah really does still know how to type!" haha. sorry i took so long.